The other day, I was really struggling with anxiety.
This isn’t uncommon for me – in fact, these days, it’s uncommon for me to NOT struggle with anxious thoughts and feelings.
Guess what the title was of my morning devotional?
Do Not Be Anxious: May 26,
from ‘One Minute Devotions: Morning by Morning, Charles Spurgeon:
‘The very essence of anxious care is imagining that we are wiser than God. When we worry, we put ourselves in His place and try to do for Him what He intends to do for us. We struggle to bear our burden, as if He were unable or unwilling to carry it for us. Anxiety makes us doubt God’s loving-kindness, and so our love for Him grows cold.’
-Charles Spurgeon, One Minute Devotions, Christian Art Gifts, 2005.
Think about it: do you feel a lot of love for someone you feel like you can’t depend on? Friends, sometimes God DOES feel far away, and hard to trust. Everyone, every human being we’ve ever known on earth is inconsistent, and changes. WE OURSELVES ARE ALWAYS CHANGING! So how can we grasp that God doesn’t change, and that He will always come through for us? How can we defeat our anxious fears that even God is not enough – not strong enough to protect us, not loving enough to forgive us?
The Bible promises that God doesn’t change, that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. But we do change, and I think that is what causes us to feel far from God. When my love for Him changes, when my devotion or resolve weakens, when my heart gives in to temptation, I feel ashamed. And then I am afraid to come to Him. And then I start to wonder how He ever could have loved me in the first place. ‘Maybe He never did,’ I think. And that causes horrible anxiety.
But let’s face it, if God loved me once, He will always love me – because HE CANNOT CHANGE. He hasn’t broken any other promises in the Bible – why would He break the promise that ‘no one can snatch them out of His hand?’
Sometimes, though, I know in my head the truth. But it’s hard to act on it, or FEEL that it is truly real. That’s how I felt this morning.
And again, God planned out that my devotion would speak to my heart’s questions (and yes, you will notice, today isn’t May 26th. But I’ve been reading through the devotional since I first got it, and didn’t wait to start on January 1st):
IN A LITTLE WHILE: MAY 28th
‘Here is a precious truth for you, believer. You may be poor or suffering, but it may encourage you to review your “calling” and the consequences that flow from it. As surely as you are God’s child, your trials will soon end… If He has called you, nothing can divide you from His love. Distress cannot sever the bond. The fire of persecution cannot burn the ropes that bind you to Him. You are secure. Rest assured, the heart of your Justifier beats with an infinite love for you. Soon you will be with the glorified. You are only waiting here to prepare for your inheritance.’
You are secure. I know you may not feel it now. God knows my fears and anxieties, and yours. But it will end. And nothing, not even the fear of separation, can separate us from Him.
In conclusion, your suffering, believer, will end. But God’s love will not. And one day, we’ll know this fully.