So… Thanksgiving is approaching! But before you bustle out for Black Friday haggling, stop and read the cautionary:
Tale of the Leprechaun
A short treatise on Materialism, the Dangers and Pitfalls of Greed, and Leprechauns
By Shannon Morris
(for fun, read the story in an Irish accent)
On a fine misty day in the fair green hills of Ireland, Allonby Lonibus Leprechaunius, good – hearted but born with an extravagant fondness for electronics, overheard his leprechaun friends chattering gleefully next door. They were spinning tall tales about the marvelous day the Americans celebrated called ‘Black Friday’, when humans and leprechauns can buy anything up to seventy percent off. Inspired and intrigued, Allonby Lonibus Leprechaunius sped off with a handful of gold to the nearest rainbow and scuttled to the other end, which happened to be planted before the shining doors of Walmart. Darting through the legs of the taller human patrons, he spied a Big Screen TV and Sound System for a bargain price. He caught it up in his strong little arms, but before he could reach the check out counter he spied an Even Bigger TV and Better Sound System. “I want…I must…I will!” gawked Allonby Lonibus Leprechaunius. But he did not count on the mob of giant humans, howling like banshees and who all had an equally extravagant fondness for electronics. Sadly, in the chaos, Allonby Lonibus Leprechaunius was squashed like a bug. He awoke hours later in a fairy – sized hospital bed the establishment keeps for just such emergencies, and he had no TV, or Sound System of any size to speak of.
No one knows where Allonby Lonibus Leprechaunius departed to afterwards, but it is a fact that he made all further purchases online.